"And I've Never Been to Boston in the Fall"

An interesting question was asked in our fellowship group this past week: "Would you rather be in the position of Adam or saved today?" (or something close to that)

My first thought was "Before or after the fall?" but truely, neither is better than the salvation of Jesus. In looking at what I, and even Adam, had to offer God I am humbled. I can bring nothing to the table because I have only the damnation of my eternal soul apart from that which God has given me. Even Adam had nothing to offer of his own. A naive understanding of good and evil. He was given but one boundary in the Garden and like any other with human nature jumped at the opportunity to sin, finding himself shamed through something he'd never experianced before, a guilty conscience.

Praise God for justification!

(being declared righteous before God through the saving work of Jesus)

How many would be damned to Hell because of sin? How many would forever experiance the gnashing of teeth because of that which we cannot resist apart the blessed Holy Spirit's presence.

What Have I But Damnation

What have I but damnation, for sick and weak am I

Just a wretch short of glory, with sin as my demise

A willing hand held o'er my eyes, in sin I blindly stood

Hands held o'er my fleshly ears, ignoring God's call to good

But then the hands removed, not by my will but the cross

To see salvation's radiance, to hear the call of God

A blessed child of glory, sure to reach Jordan's coast

What have I but Jesus, In Him alone I boast.

©N.L. White 2005

Rosemary & Time

Hey you all,

I'm just standing here in the "Hummingbird's" kitchen, smelling some wonderful rosemary chicken, with a little time to spare.

I was reading a Psalm of David yesterday (Psalm 131):

"My heart is not haughty, nor my eyes lofty. Neither do I concern myself with great matters, nor with things too profound for me.

Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother, Like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, hope in Yahweh from this time forth and forever."

I've been a bit busy lately but the Lord has been very gracious to keep my soul "calmed and quieted." but the first part of the chapter speaks directly to what I should be able to say "My heart is not haughty, nor my eyes lofty."

I can't say that I have great ambishions in this earthly life but for those that I do have, are they haughty or overly lofty? Are my thoughts completely yeilded to Yahweh?

I have to say no. My flesh is weak in view of what this world has to offer and my ambitions yield too eaisly.

THIS WORLD

(As recorded by Caedmon's Call)
There's tarnish on the golden rule
And I want to jump from this ship of fools
Show me a place where hope is young
And a people who are not afraid to love

This world has nothing for me
And this world has everything
All that I could want and nothing that I need

This world is making me drunk on the spirits of fear
So when He says, "Who will go?" I am nowhere near
And the least of these look like criminals to me
So I leave Christ on the street

This world has nothing for me

And this world has everything

All that I could want and nothing that I need

This world has held my hand and has led me into intolerance

But now I'm waking up and now I'm breaking up
And now I'm making up for lost time

This world has nothing for me
And this world has everything
All that I could want and nothing that I need

Aaron Tate Copyright © 1994 Cumbee Road Music

"Ya' Gotta Have Friends"

I have this friend that I dearly love. (I won't post her name but know that she's really out there.) This past Sunday I held her hand briefly as we walked. In thinking of that tiny moment today I remembered one of the first times I held her hand. It was actually more her holding mine because I was too weak to take hers. Weakened not by an intense battle with cancer or even a slight cold but rather at the thought of my sin and the fact that I am so undeserving of the Great and Awesome God who has called me out of darkness and into His marvelous light.

(Please wait while I grab a tissue...

...Sorry, I had to travel a bit farther than I expected)

It was two and a half years after becoming a Chist-Follower when I was blessed to attend my first "Ladies' Retreat" where 100+ women had spent the last few days in workshops and meetings growing together as Sisters in Christ. Our group had spent a night or two keeping the neighbors up with singing and wild, yet interesting, games. (One neighbor was the piano player...oops) It was just the 10 or 15 of us in the nights but we made our share of noise.

On Sunday Morning, the last meeting of our retreat, we had a time of communion. In my reflection upon the body and blood of Christ I was overwhelmed at the thought that I could have a place at this holy table. As I sat beside my friend she placed her arm around my shivering shoulders and hugged me. (Now, for those of you who know about my "therapy", it began shortly after this retreat.) I continued to weep while the ladies streamed to the table to recieve the elements and my friend lingered with me; prayed with me. When the group had neared the end of an open table, she took my hand and led me, weak and trembling, to the front. I continued to cry and wail within myself as I partook of the body and blood of the Lamb who took away my sin.

(Please wait while I grab another tissue...)

I think now that it was a great lesson for me. A lesson in how to take communion (contritely), how to take communion with the Bride (as one body) and how to move beyond the reality of sinfulness, into the reality of forgiveness once it has been confessed (rejoicing).

Years later I learned something that has blessed me every time I remember it during communion with the Brethern. There is a particular sin offering of the Law recorded in Leviticus that the priests were required to eat of. Peter says that we are "...a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness and into His marvelous light;(1 Peter 1:9)" So as we gather to remember, reflect, and rejoice in the Passover Lamb, sacrificed as our sin offering; sometimes I look around. Not to see who's partaking and who is allowing the elements to pass but to see these fellow priests, this Bride purchased with a heavy price. Praise God that He has not left us as pieces scattered throughout this broken land, but rather as shards of a beautiful vessel held together by the blood of our shared Saviour.

The best part of the friendship I began this post by mentioning, is that I cannot think of that relationship without being driven to think of He who is closer than a friend, closer than a brother (or sister).

1 Peter 2:9-12
9 But you are a CHOSEN RACE, a royal PRIESTHOOD, a HOLY NATION, a PEOPLE FOR God's OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; 10 for you once were NOT a PEOPLE, but now you are THE PEOPLE OF GOD; you had NOT RECEIVED MERCY, but now you have RECEIVED MERCY. 11 Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul. 12 Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them glorify God in the day of visitation.

We Are Children
We are Children of Your mercy, called by Your grace
Seeking just to catch a glimpse of Your face
It once was forbidden, but now by faith
We can, through Your grace, stand in this place.

We are Brothers to one another, children of God
Seeking to be holy, while on this sod
Joined by one Spirit to our Brother, the Christ
Who laid down His life to be our Sacrifice.

We are Children, seeking glory, glory for Your name
Lights shining in a cold, cold dark frame
May the world see our good works of love
And bring You glory, O great Father above

We are Children of Your mercy, called by Your grace
Seeking just to catch one sweet glimpse of Your face
©N L White 2003

"Mom, He's Looking At Me"

My stated profession on official documents is "childcare provider". What does this mean. Well, it means that I do just about anything your children need and you are willing to pay me for. Okay, so there is a bit more to it.

To the point:

One of the children have watched in the past would ride the bus home occasionally, which was great if he/she was in a decient mood. However one day he/she had a moment of relapse. Relapse, in that this child forgot every sense of civility he/she had ever been taught. When getting off the bus it was relayed that he/she had slapped another child. The reason stated when further intergation occurred was "she was looking at me." Why is it that one moment we're competing for attention and the next we are outraged that someone is giving it to us?

I was thinking of this in relation to my own disposition toward the attention of others. I crave attention from those I love but when it is given I often shrink away. I get uncomfortable when words such as "cute" (which originally meant bow-legged), "pretty" and "nice" (which to Shakespere meant ignorant) are used in referance to me even though those are the kinds of things that make me warm and fuzzy inside. Perhaps I'm afraid of the warm fuzzies. They're coming to take me away...ahh!

There are two extremes to this. (I'm getting good at this two point stuff. Don't worry I'm a five pointer.)

The first is: "I don't care what anyone thinks...Their opinions are nothing in light of eternity...God is my Judge..."

Yeah, but how will He judge you? "1 Peter 1:15...but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behaviour" He will judge based on what He would have done, how He would have acted, the words He would have used. Wow! Doesn't that cut to the quick of your soul? I am convicted by that thought. How often do I offer "Nehemiah prayers" (Nehemiah 2:4-5) for those brief conversations with old classmates in "stuff-mart" or the dreaded question "How are you doing?"

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, My Rock and my Redeemer...Psalm 19:14"

The other extreme: "If I do this or that, so and so will see me...I don't want them to think I'm loud and boistrous...I don't want to bother them."

Representing Christ is to walk as He walked. "1 John 2:6 ...the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked." Jesus didn't shrink at the sight of anyone because He knew His purpose. Ours is one in the same, "to glorify God and enjoy Him forever." He came to do His Father's will. This usually included talking to someone, sometimes touching their leperous hand or rubbing mud made from His own spit on their eyes. How do you think these people felt when He invaded their bubble of personal space? I, personally, would have freaked out.

We spend so much time thinking "I bet people were looking at me" or "I didn't want to take up your time." But at what cost? How will poeple know of what eternity holds if we don't speak it, either by wasting empty words on them or offering none at all. We are to be good stewards of the name and position of Christ which was imputed to us. Think about it. The only reason to dwell negitively on the thoughts and perceptions of others is a lack of confidence in God and His work in you/me. There are, of course, times when you know the Lord is using a person to get through your thick skull but this doesn't often come from the person behind you in the local "stuff-mart." It comes from those you are walking along-side on this narrow road.

One of my favorite writings of John MacArthur is "Found: God's Will." In this little booklet He points out Epesians 5:15-17 saying "Don't be (cover your children's eyes) stupid." The verses actually read and I will leave you with this and a hymn:

"Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is."

Take My Life and Let It Be
(Leviticus 11:44)
Take my life and let it be consecrated Lord, to Thee
Take my moments and my days, let them flow in ceaseless praise.

Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of Thy love
Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice and let me sing, always, only for my King
Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from Thee.

Take my will and mike it Thine. It shall be no longer mine
Take my heart – it is Thine own. It shall be Thy royal throne.

Take my love, my Lord I pour, at Thy feet its treasure store
Take myself and I will be, ever, only all for Thee.
Frances Ridley Havergal (1836-1879)

The Master Weaver

I have a nasty, yet helpful habit.
It's not biting my nails or picking my nose but rather writing on my hand. Some see this and gasp, others say "I would never let my child do that." It's not as if I'm drawing pictures but rather a word or two to serve as a reminder to do something or ask someone a question. But the sight of these scrawlings do remind me of something else. God's love, manifested in two particular ways. The first is His chosing to love a worm such as I, bringing other worms of love into my life.

The Scriptures say that God has written the name of His beloved not only in the Book of life but on His very hand. (God's hands must be huge!) My name is written on the hand of God...(long pause to digest this thought)...Every child of God has a place not only in the Heart of God but on His palm. I ask you this: Is there a safer place? 1 Peter says there is an inheritance "reserved in heaven for you who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time." Do you think someone will be able to crack God's safe? (Woe to those who try.)

Now to the second encouragement from a hand scribbled upon.

There is a Hindu tradition that I wanted to go into to explain how lines on a hand depict the lines of one's eternal soul and how they meet up with or follow closely beside others in an ancient art form called Mehndi. However I found myself spending more time explaining the falsities of reincarnation and their system of good works thatn reaching the intended point. Therefore I trust that should you want to learn more about the history and practice of Mehndi you can use your google search.

Perhaps you know where I'm going with this but I will take you in that direction anyway.

We all have people that we choose to associate with, because of their personality, their past experiances, a common intrest. But there are also those people that make us think "What was God thinking when He put this person here in my path." I love the Body of Christ becuase the foot is so very different from the face that you might think "and why are these things hanging out together?" I have relationships with the church that just make sense and others that one may look at and say the same thought about the foot and face. The challenge however is to love the face just as much as you love the other foot who has almost exactly the same intrests that you do (were you a foot).

All this to say that God is good and He loves us so much that He gave His only begotten Son for us.

Not that we would walk as we did formerly, selfish wonderers searching for ways to please the flesh. But as new creatures loving the God who first loved us and those whom He has also chosen to live eternally in His Heaven. Imagine the sweet fellowship there will be in Heaven and practice now for that which is to come

Disclaimer: These thoughts were formed from hours of trying to mould 10 years of blessings into two thoughts.

There is also a greek myth that "the fates" maintain a loom which is the weaving of lives together. You can read about that on your own as well.

_______________________________________________________________

In Response ro "Anonymous"...

Only if this depicts you...

..."Anonymous"

"Holding fast the faithful word" (Titus 1:9)

Pilgrim Ponderings- Besides reading the Bible…

(By Charles Spurgeon)

“Should you not, besides reading the Bible, store your memories richly with the promises of God? You can recollect the sayings of great men; you treasure up the verses of renowned poets; ought you not to be profound in your knowledge of the words of God, so that you may be able to quote them readily when you would solve a difficulty, or overthrow a doubt? Since "He hath said" is the source of all wisdom, and the fountain of all comfort, let it dwell in you richly, as "A well of water, springing up unto everlasting life." So shall you grow healthy, strong, and happy in the divine life.”
Any subscription requests, questions, or comments concerning Pilgrim Ponderings can be e-mailed to pilgrimponderings@sbcglobal.net


In Word and Deed

A wonderful man just left the physical fellowship of our local church in order to return to his beloved wife and children. Michael Ginn is a traveling "story-teller" but the stories he relays are not that of fiction like Paul Bunyan or fairy tales of old. The stories this man conveys are true and demand a change in one's heart. This is because Mr. Ginn quotes the Living Word of God.

"I sing a song of Hercules" would be the opening phrase of the ancient entertainers who would lead their hearers into an imagined land of myth and legend. While Michael Ginn begins with "Let us hear the Word of the Lord." Our minds are filled so much, stories and rhymes from childhood, the stats of our favorite sports star. Is there room in your noggin for the Words that will never pass away? Is there room for the Words of the greatest Lover of your soul?

When I was a "youth" and not just an adult trying to hang on to that time by being a youth staff member, I memorized chapters 1&2 of 1 John and the first chapter of 2 Peter and even the first chapter of James. Those verses were tossed from the file cabinet long ago and lay strewn upon the floor of my memory but there is yet one small epistle that remains. It is the short book of Titus that has kept its place in the drawer for the past 3 years and prayerfully and with some deliberation it shall there dwell until the Lord shall take me home. But it is not enough.

Mr.Ginn, who was a child of the sixties and partook in them quite generously, is a renewed man. God has changed his heart and washed this man's mind with His regenerating power and he, who spent years destroying brain cells, has memorized the New Testament. Over a course of 20 years this carpenter who worked 40-60 hours a week disciplined his mind and body to yield the wee hours of the morning to his great and miraculous God. He simply loved Jesus and wanted to know everything the scriptures said of Him and although the Messiah is found From Genesis 3:15 and forward to the end of Revelation He lives in the Gospels and is exclusive in the epistles.

However, even the memorization of the whole of Scripture is not enough, as Michael will also agree. There must be change. Holiness must be furthered in one’s heart or these are just words and not the Word of God. I said in a joking manner to Mr. Ginn this past weekend “I wish you would stop speaking the truth.” His reply, stated in a humble manner was in effect “What else is there?” My very soul is challenged by the Word of God and it’s Truth demands a response but too often the flesh is too weak to continue in the path of repentance that Truth lightens.

Heart of Stone

What is this longing from somewhere deep with in
An empty hole of blackness that’s been filled up with sin
I know it’s You that I need to empty out this space
To heal this broken vessel by Your sovereign grace

For You to be my one true Love, my first and only choice
For You to in me resonate, Yours the only voice
O Lord, to be at one with You in the day and in the night
To know I’m in Your presence, Your arms around me tight.

I know that Your Word says that You’re right here with me
But my flesh, it tends to lie and only You can set me free
Renew in me the gift of faith that only You can give
Oh Lord, soften up this heart of stone that I may truly live.

Lord, come and lift me from this fleshly drone
Remind me of Your promise that You will take me home
This world is not my place and Heaven, it awaits
But until You take me there, fill this bless’d space

I know that Your Word says that You’re right here with me
But my flesh, it tends to lie and only You can set me free
Renew in me the gift of faith that only You can give
Oh Lord, soften up this heart of stone that I may truly live.

Copyright N.L. White 2005

What is in a Name? (part 2)

What is it that held our dear Saviour on the cross?

Our Saviour Who was and is completely God with the power to calm a raging storm, to speak and raise a man from the dead, to make the blind see and lame to rise and walk. Our dear and blessed Saviour who can love a wretch like me with such ferver that it causes my very soul to shiver and shrink because I know that "were the whole relm of nature mine, that were a present far too small, for love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all."

The love of God displayed in the crucifixion of the Christ is too much for me to bare.

The Hammer Holds
By Bebo Norman

A shapeless piece of steel, that's all I claim to be
This hammer pounds to give me form, this flame, it melts my dreams
I glow with fire and fury, as I'm twisted like a vine

My final shape, my final form I'm sure I'm bound to find

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

And the water, it cools me gray, and the hurt's subdued somehow
I have my shape, this sharpened point, what is my purpose now?
And the question still remains, what am I to be?
Perhaps some perfect piece of art displayed for all to see

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

The hammer pounds again, but flames I do not feel
This force that drives me, helplessly, through flesh, and wood reveals
A burn that burns much deeper, it's more than I can stand
The reason for my life was to take the life of a guiltless man

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the pain
And hurt a little, hurt for me, my future is so bold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds
This task before me may seem unclear

But it, my maker holds

Mindless Worship

Hey you,

Do you ever just do something out of habit and not really think about why you do it that way?

A couple of years ago I was driving to church like I do every Sunday morning thinking out loud. I was commenting on how I really don't like dresses when I was hit by something I don't think I had considered until that time. "Why am I driving to church at all? Why do I feel committed to do this every week? Why is it that I would drive through storms and high water to get to this place where I sometimes don't even want to be?" The correct answer is worship, but sometimes that is the furthest thing from my mind.

I confessed that I had been so distracted while getting ready that morning that I had forgotten what worship was to be about. In that prayer I also asked God to help me repent of (turn away from) that attitude of go with the flow. How could I even consider just going through the motions when I'm supposed to be worshipping a God so unlike anything I've ever known. How could I take lightly the preparation to join the Saints in approaching the throne of the Almighty. It's like coming to a hungary carnivour with nothing but a salad...he won't be pleased with what is laid in front of him.

Here are some words that came from that prayer.

I've Forgotten

Driving down this road, I've forgotten what it's for.

I don't remember the reason or the cause anymore.

I've given all I have to the dress and to the prep.

Lord, help me remember what it is that You accept.

It is beter to obey than to give a sacrifice.

I have given all I have but I can't escape this vice.

Lord, teach me how to pray, to be faithful to Your Word,

To take up my cross and to follow Your voice...

Your blessings stare me down in the fullness of the moon.

Yet I turn a stone-cold face to the One who would return.

Will He find me ready in my cold and fleshly drone?

Will He leave me here or will He takd me to His home.

It is beter to obey than to give a sacrifice.
I have given all I have but I can't escape this vice.
Lord, teach me how to pray, to be faithful to Your Word,
To take up my cross and to follow Your voice...

Lord, I'm Heaven- bound, come and saturate my steps,

And let everyone know that You're not finished with me yet.

Lord, teach me how to pray, to be faithful to Your Word,
To take up my cross and to follow Your voice...
Copyright N.L. White 2002