Do You Remember??

I had a pressing question for myself today and simply could not answer it myself. I know it sounds really bad but I could not remember when I graduated. Yeah I know it's lame and makes me sound quite a bit older than I actually am, senile really. But for the last week or so I have genuinely confused. I had quite a few friends who graduated the year before me and was mixing them with the ones I graduated with. It was all a very confusing for a little while. Until a good friend was gracious enough to tell me that I graduated with her and just what year that was.

Whew!!

Have a Blessed Holy-Day!!
Happy Resurrection Sunday!!

Watermelon Wishes

I have written before of smells that I love. Some are associated with people and others with places or things and I can't help but take a moment to reflect on that noun that they remind me of. Back in April I wrote of a smell that I associate with the warm days of spring and summer. The smell is that of a freshly cut lawn. I again caught a reflective sniff of such a day or so ago and remarked in my thoughts how closely it resembled that of a watermelon that has just been cut into. An instant smile arose from the thought and I've been longing for watermelon ever since.

Today's my 28th birthday. Happy Birthday to me!

Have a great "my birthday"!

Click the Pic to see what I've written about this special day.

The Funniest Thing I've Seen Today

A little view of my world today

This morning my boys and I made our way to the $1 summer feature at our local theater and was disappointed when the projector died and had to find entertainment else-where. So... we made our way to the market to pick up a few items needed for the house; milk, Cheerios, ham, juice, etc., etc. Then we took our "break today" at McDonalds Playplace. Therefore 2yr old little "O" was sufficiently worn out for his sleep.

As usual he made a little fuss as I carried him up stairs and put him in his cot, so I told him "night, night", closed the door and made my way down the stairs to play Chutes & Ladders with 4yr old "Z." We were both somewhere around #50 when the irritated cry from upstairs quieted and then made a comeback as more of a "I'm hurt, so come save me" cry. I made my appoligies to "Z" and hobbled upstairs to find "O" pinned between the side of the cot and the wall. However, I was without a camera and therefore must leave the scene up to your imagination.

There were many things that began to run through my mind but the first thing to escape my lips was "I told you it wasn't safe to climb out of your cot." Feeling vendicated, I then began to smile over the hilarious picture that presented itself and make my way over to the distressed toddler. I was greeted with a very appreciative hug (or maybe he was just hanging on for dear life). So after a moment of absorbing this display of affection, I placed the boy back in his cot and retrieved the comfort blankies he had obviously tried to get for himself and all was well. Sleep soon came and the scene was brought to a close. But I must honestly say that it was indeed the funniest thing I've seen today and perhaps even in a great while because is it continues to bring quite a grin to my face and a light to my eyes.

Enjoy your days!!

Happy B-Day Lo-Lo

Keep The Light On

This is a picture of a lighthouse originally constructed near Cape Cod (East Coast) in 1881. It was thought until last year that it was taken apart and discarded in 1925 but recently an historian based in it's original location discovered that the lighthouse was just relocated and is still in service today about 25 miles south of San Fransisco.

Last year we had a pastoral intern join our youth staff. He was accustomed to a large church atmosphere and spending the last year of his internship in a small church was to serve as a different experiance to help offer a more well rounded youth pastor to some unknown church. Recently he and his wife canidated in Colorado and he recieved a call of invitation this Sunday. It's and exciting time for them and our little youth group. Even though we are sad to see them move on we know that the light they have to offer is needed elsewhere.

We've learned a few things and have tried to offer a bit of knowledge of our own over the last year and pray that the transition to ministry in Colorado will be smooth for them and those they will be ministering to as well as with.


Jake and Candace,
We've been blessed and hope that you have been as well through this year of ministry at Hope. We know that God will be honored in this new endevor and pray that you will see His hand working in your ministry.

Matthew 5:14-16
"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven."

I found this picture of a picture yesterday.

Thought some of you may enjoy it.

Sassy

I was listening to bits of an album put out by one of my favorite lady singers and found myself thinking about some of her past songs that just make me laugh. I then realized that perhaps the characteristic I like most about her is that she is sassy. In fact if you were to look that word up in the dictionary it may very well have a footnote containing her name. I suppose it would have to be just the right dictionary though. Or it may even enclude a picture of this Southern Belle. Perhaps this picture.





P.S. One of today's best guitarists plays on all of the songs and produced the album. Thanks to my brotha' for the insight.

Sepia Sense

I went even more upload crazy yesterday. I have this frame which at one time had a mirror or something in it but now it's just the frame and a backing. My project is to fill it with pictures, cool pictures, pictures of friends and family, kids I care for, really just stuff that makes me happy. I want most of the pictures to blend together, look like they should be there. So... I turned a lot of pictures sepia this weekend to accomplish some sense of continuity among them. So it's all part of a project, not just crazy uploading.


So... visit if you like.


If not... then don't.


Have a great day!!

Switch - A - Roo

Switched the colors around a bit today.



The picture at the top is composed of two cameraphone pictures I took while visiting the San Francisco Bay. I went with one of my favorite boys (his are the smaller feet) to the beach at the Presidio while his mom was teaching an engineering class. We then picked up lunch on one of the peirs.

A Good Day.

An Enemy Within

I think that I have explained the title of this blog before. I think that the first two posts told about the meaning of the Greek word "helos." The word simply means "nail" for those of you who have not read those posts. I am revisiting this topic because of an addition that has been made over the past few months, that is the phrase "changed daily" which is seen within the blades of grass at the top of this page.

In considering these two things together I was also contemplating what it was that held the perfect Sacrifice on the cross. It is said that it was not the nails but rather His willingness, His love and mercy that did so. I understand that to be the case, knowing that apart from His will to participate in the perfect plan of redemption laid forth before the foundation of the world, the Son of God could not be crucified. That is why the Lamb of God is now seated on the throne. He deserves it first for who He is and because of who He is, He has done that which only God/Man could do, give His life as a ransom for many.

The reason that I named this blog "helos" is so that I would not forget who Jesus is and His work on my behalf. The site is http://www.whenisurvey.blogspot.com/ to remind me that all is to be considered in light of God's grace and mercy shown to me upon the cross. Apart from Him life and all that it intails is vainity and should I try to keep this thing going apart from Him it will be that as well. I sometimes post "mindless raging rants" and just stuff that is going on. I pray that even these would not be done in vain but to show that I am still human and am living in the world, seeking to not be of the world.

I don't think that I can express just what God has done for me, what He has relieved me from in taking the shame and punishment for my sin. Partly because I don't have the words to express it and even more so because I don't fully understand just what has been done. I have been given a gift of eternal life in communion with God. Although I know and have experianced many benefits of this gift there is so much more that I have been promised and am sure of because I know that God is faithful to keep His promises.

I also have difficulty in knowing just what I have been saved from. I know what it is to recieve earthly consequinces for sin and I know what it is to wrestle with temptation from the outside and from within however I cannot empathize with complete divorce from God, His general grace and provision which I have always had as a creation of His. I cannot imagine the depths of Hell.

Salvation seems such a simple word but its complexities I know I will not understand upon earth. This truth, however does not excuse me from the study and meditation of His great and awesome work on behalf of those who would call out for the blood of Christ to wash away their sin and bring them into fellowship with God.

I was recently challenged by the Spirit to share something from my past with a dear friend. We were in the midst of a rather intense discussion concerning sins that were brought to mind during a sermon we had sat under that morning when a particular sin was made the forefront of our conversation. I stated that it was indeed sin and sighted scriptures which show it to be such. There was then a great pause in the conversed and contraversial topic as we watched the kids play in the hall of science we were visiting that afternoon. There wasn't much said between us for the next half hour as we made our way through the building and into an outside display which overlooked the bay. As we observed the scene and the children made their way back to the hands on learning of the displays the need to share my heart was too much and I told a secret that still remains such today.

I wanted my friend to know, as I pray all will, that I'm not a sin-o-phobic Bible thumper who blindly makes statements concerning the eternal effects of sin. I expressed to her that this sin we were previously speaking of was indeed a sin that I have wrestled with. God alone has victory over it in my case, this I know because when I am weak in my fellowship with Him it's ugly head resurfaces to show that it is not my efforts which keep it at bay but His own. After the kids were put to bed and sudoku was in progress I was asked to share more about my salvation from the effects of this sin in which I was blessed to say that the depression and internal anguish that it brought has been washed away. The grace of God cannot be measured just as God Himself cannot be measured.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9) "He gave Himself for us to redeem us from every lawless deed and to purify for Himself a people for His own posession, zealous for good deeds." (Titus 2:11)

We try to place degrees on individual sins so that we can say "It was just a little lie." or "I only did it once." We want to rationalize with human standards so that we don't have to face the reality of how much God hates sin but it doesn't line up with Scripture. Our measures and standards are just that "ours" and we cannot expect God, whose "ways are not our ways," to follow our rule.

I'm not sure what all of this is to say except that God is more than we can imagine in every part. He is more just, more gracious. He is more loving, more wrathful. He is more faithful, more forgiving than any one you've ever met because He is God. God is more by definition. He is perfect by definition. He is the Rule and the Ruler.

Oh, So Very Long Ago

This is a week that will be remembered by most here in the U.S. as a marker of devistation for many. On Monday there was a terrible shooting an the campus of Virgina Tech. If you have been sheltered from this news do a little search and you will have much more information than I will give here.

I am commonly a listener to NPR (National Public Radio) and often forget that it is still playing while there are others in the car. Tuesday I was reminded that it was on by a small voice from the back seat. As we were nearly home from preschool the three-year-old who had spent all day sheltered within the walls of Ms. Megan's class room said "thirty people died." His voice wasn't sorrow-full or reporter-like but questioning. I quickly agreed with his statement, even though the number was incorrect, with a pitiful "yes."

He then asked why they died and the only answer that I could muster was smiply "There was a man who was very sad and he wanted other people to be sad too, so he killed those thirty people." He will have forgotten the awful events he heard reported by the time he's ten or eleven. He'll not, however, be spared from the hearing of such future events.

When I was in kindergarten the U.S. mourned the loss of a group of astronauts when the "Challenger" exploded shortly after it's launch. One year after the Oklahoma City bombing, on the day after a beloved Junior High teacher died following a battle with lukemia, the Colombine shooting occurred. Not long after was a school shooting just six hours away from my hometown. A couple of years after I began a career working with children three planes smashed into buildings filled with people just minding their own business. Two years ago I was blessed to visit Louisana in order to help with a small clean-up effort after hurricaine Katrina passed through the Gulf of Mexico and destroyed thousands of people's homes.

All of these things will be written into textbooks for children of future generations to read. I wonder if someone will be there to tell them the truth that they too are capable of making history. All it takes is a little determination and a bit of firepower and you too can become a face on the news and maybe in a history book for kids just like you to read in U.S. history class.

To quote that great philosopher Jack Johnson "Where'd all the good people go?"

Breath By Breath

It seems that I have lots to say about my mom lately but bear with me.

When I was little I would wake up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare or a noise, or just that little kid thing. When I woke up I would go to my mom's room and climb into her bed and she would hold me. As I lay there I would try to match her breathing with my own. Because my lungs were a bit smaller than her adult ones, I never could get it quite right.

As I think of this tid-bit from my past I am reminded of Elijah and his experience in the cave while running from Jezebel the wicked queen.

Then [Elijah] came there to a cave and lodged there; and behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and He said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” He said, “I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts; for the sons of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars and killed Your prophets with the sword. And I alone am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.”
So He said, “Go forth and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake. After the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing.
It came about when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. And behold a voice came to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” I Kings 19:9-13

The amazing thing to me is that Elijah knew when to come out of the cave. The command was “Go forth and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” Elijah knew that the Lord was not in the “great and strong wind” or the earthquake or the fire but rather the “gentle blowing” was the sound of the Lord’s presence.

How is it that we may recognize the Lord’s presence? Many times we are looking to what we have assumed is the Lord’s calling or voice for our guidance. But how is it that we know if it be the Shepherd’s voice we are following? How do we know who’s breath we are trying to match with our own just as I tried to match my own to my mother’s so many years ago?

John MacArthur, Jr. has a small book “found: God’s Will” in which he highlights some scriptural directives that are the explicit will of God. The final chapter reveals the answer to the question every Christian asks at every stage of life; “What is the will of God?” Answer: follow the five principles laid out in chapters two through six and then go for it.

1. God’s will is that you be saved.
“The first thing about God’s will – He wants men to be saved. So much so that He stays His judgement. Paul said, ‘For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior; Who will have all men to be saved and come unto the knowledge of the truth’ (1 Timothy 2:3-4)

“It is God’s will that men be saved. If you are stumbling around in life and tossing up some periodic prayers to God but have never come on your knees to the foot of the cross and met Jesus Christ, then you are not even in the beginning of God’s will. God has no reason to reveal to you anything particular about your life because you have not met qualification number one: Salvation….

“If you have never committed your life to Jesus Christ, you cannot expect anything at all from God. He owes you nothing. He is not obligated to you in even the slightest sense.

“People reject this. The doctrine of salvation is unpopular because it includes the recognition of sin. And many people resist the idea that they need to be saved….

“Talking about sin and salvation is offensive to some people. Who wants to hear about sin? Most people mask it. Sin is not sin. Oh, no. Sin is ”a prenatal predilection,” psychologists tell us. Sin is an “idiosyncrasy of individuality.” Sin is “poor secretion of the endocrine glands”!

“But God’s will is that people be saved! And basic to salvation is the recognition of sin. This lays it right at your feet. Either you are not saved from your sin and you need to come to Christ because that is God’s will, or you are saved and need to reach others with the message of salvation. There is a world out there that needs Jesus Christ. God wants them to be saved, and you and I are vehicles for the transportation of the Gospel. That is God’s will….

“God so desired that men be saved that He gave the One whom He loved most, His Son, and sent Him to die on a cross. That is the measure of His love, and that indicates how much He wills that men be saved!”

2. God’s will is that you be Spirit-filled.

If you are intrested further please check this post in a few days and hopefully I will have added the next point and prehaps even the one following it.

Many Blessings,

N.L. White

The Sleep Came Softly Then

When I was somewhere within the ages of six and eight we lived an hour or so away from my grandparents’ home and often on the way there I would fall asleep to avoid car-sickness. On this particular trip I had done just that. I'm not sure what landmark we had just passed or just how long I had been green with unease before falling asleep, but it happened in the usual way. Sleeping in the car as a child is much different than the light dozing of an adult and I soon found myself in a bit of wonderland. Shapes were unclear and lights were blurred but much of the other world was very clear and yet vague at the same time.

In this place of imagination I was in a dimly lit room with rows of chairs and people dawning the traditional black of mourning when I realized that everyone was turned around looking at me and my brother as we were standing at the back of the room. My brother led the way down the very long center isle where at the very front was positioned a large black box which I knew held the body of someone who was no longer a part of even this very unreal reality. My brother lingered at the casket for a short time and then made his way to a row of empty chairs at the side of the room.

I felt an urge to approach the big black box myself but was hindered by deep senses of both grief and emptiness. Upon finally reaching the object which I dreaded the most at that moment I saw the loving face which had greeted my own into the world I knew as true reality. It was the face I kissed at night before approaching this shadow of life, this wonderland that I now stood weeping in. Yet, as the tears rolled down my round cheeks I stood as an adult within my six or seven-year-old frame. Had those tears not fallen in that wonderland none of the faceless onlookers would have known that a bit of grief existed in the child who had just been robbed of the only stable adult in her life.

As my body awoke and therefore slowly brought my shadow with it from this land of loss, I found myself alone in the back seat. My face was resting in a pool of tears and my lungs gasped for air while my lumped throat would only let short breaths in through the repeated sobbings. I sat there a few moments in the mess created by the imaginary parting from my beloved mother and as the crying subsided I thought I had found myself in yet another dimension of dreamland.

Lying helplessly in the seat I saw her face once again. I thought that she had returned from whatever I thought lay beyond the physical once again only to walk past the window. As the tears again began to flow, the door opened and the real and touchable arms that I had found comfort in so many times before cradled my trembling body. The lips which had touched my face so tenderly in the past were again placed upon my forehead. And as my mother spoke softly into my ears I once again found comfort. The strong pain passed but I did not let my mother out of my sight on that visit to grandma's. I never wanted to have those feelings again and was determined not to leave her side.