I found this picture of a picture yesterday.

Thought some of you may enjoy it.

Shooting the Family

My cousin asked me to take some family photos for her so that she could give them out for Christmas. Some of them turned out pretty decent. I think it was the adorable subjects. Here's some samples. You can click on them to get a better view.

Here are some with my charges. I am, after all, a nanny with a camera. Again with the adorable subjects.

Playing the "Sorry!" Card

Praise God for the sense of conscience He has given mankind! Praise Him that there are still sins that seem "gross" even by the world's standards! Even though we are wrapped up in our own sin, the "worst" among us still have some piece of ungodliness that they would rather be strung up than be caught partaking in. Perhaps more Christians have these than we would like to admit.

The truth of the matter is, should we all be forced to wear a patch or brightly coloured letter to represent our sins, first we would never have to worry about the appearance of our clothing because we would be covered completely with those markings along with the sashes upon sashes to bear the remainder of them. Second , should we be able to see those symbols we would loose sight of the figure beneath them and the person they are. For the Christian who they are because these sins have been forgiven and for those who remain entangled, who they could be when the love of God removes the taint they leave.

I was speaking to a sister-in-Christ the other evening about a particular sin in which a family member is involved and she called that sin "gross." I thought to myself "Yes, but why?" Why is this sin more "gross" than mine or yours? It's not. Scripture bears no evidence that any one particular sin is worse than another. There are references to the unforgivable rejecting of the Holy Spirit however no measure by which we may gauge individual sins.

God hates sin. That is the measure we are given. There are lists of sins that God hates and lists of people defined by sin who will not inherit the kingdom of God but are these things hated more by God than other sins that didn't make those particular lists. No. God hates sin.

The challenge then is to hate sin just as much as God does. Beginning first with the sin that is within myself and then with that which is evident in the brethren and lastly that which is in the world closest to me. God showed us how to do this through the Law. The quote "Be killing sin or it will be killing you" rings very true in this. But it's hard. I like my sin some days and therefore it is very difficult to take the two-edged sword to its pulsing neck and cut off its evil head. I want to talk it out of taking action and maybe give it a day or two to change its ways, become a better and less offensive sin. But God hates sin in every form and so should I.

Come to think of it the first part of the challenge could be considered the hardest. Because it is dealing with my own sins, the ones that I cling too, those in which I have a vested interest. It's like getting your player knocked off the board with a "Sorry!" card. It hurts. It's much easier to hurt someone else because you don't love them as much. (no matter what you may say or feel) You don't have the same vested interest in their sins. So it's easier to take their game pieces away.

However the reason it's the hardest is because we are not God. God has this ability that no one does, not even Superman or Wolverine. God hates sin perfectly, but not only that, He loves the sinner perfectly too. He knows that the defeat of sin within them is the best effect of His love that can be provided.

So there is a new challenge which is just as difficult, to love the the sinner just as much as God does. This is easy when we are the sinner in question. We don't need help loving ourselves. We need help loving those "gross" sinners and even those "not-so-gross" sinners. The great thing in our need is that God who provides the grace and love that we need is faithful to meet that need in others as well. And even to do so through us who are called to exercise love and grace in His name. Wow, no pressure.

So, to wrap up this little sermon to myself I shall say...

Never forget the love of Christ to you so that you may show the sove of Christ to all others. You have been forgiven much therefore forgive much.

Jesus, Lover of My Soul

Jesus, lover of my soul, let me to Thy bosom fly,
While the nearer waters roll, while the tempest still is high.
Hide me, O my Savior, hide, ’til life’s storm is past;
Safe into the haven guide; receive my soul at last.

Other refuge have I none, I helpless, hang on Thee;
Leave, oh leave me not alone, support and comfort me.
All my trust on Thee is stayed, all help from Thee I bring;
Cover my defenseless head, in the shadow of Thy wing.

Thou, O Christ, are all I want, here more than all I find;
Raise the fallen, cheer the faint, heal the sick, and lead the blind.
Just and holy is Thy Name, I am all unrighteousness;
False and full of sin I am; Thou art full of truth and grace.

Plenteous grace with Thee is found, grace to cover all my sin;
Let the healing streams abound; make and keep me pure within.
Thou of life the fountain art, let me take of Thee;
Spring Thou up within my heart; for all eternity

Charles Wesley

The First In An Endless Step Program

I think that I've mentioned before how I am a great hypocrite but I just wanted to further the point today.

This last week I was very suddenly asked to quote a little book of the Bible that the Lord has graciously allowed me to memorize and miraculously retain for a few years now. Along with the reciting of this book I was asked to do some teaching regarding the importance of God's Word and sing a few scripture songs to or with them. After a little exaggerated thought on the proposition I accepted the invitation and began on a very busy Saturday to prepare for about 20 minutes of teaching children the following morning.

So between an accountability meeting with my lovely and gracious mentor, a family-wide birthday dinner, a tea party and a concert I quoted the book once and for the rest of the day tried to steal moments to consider what else I might have to contribute to these young minds and lives. Those moments however were sucked up with angst over family matters, seeing well-missed faces at both the family and tea gatherings and trying to overcome my social spazz-tizity for a concert setting. I don't think it must be said that I failed in the preparation department. So upon returning home from the concert I spent about an hour talking to myself and my Lord, going through what I wanted to convey to the kids and praying for direction from the very Author of the scriptures I was invited to lift up before this children.

In the end God proved Himself much more faithful to meet the needs of those children than myself. Which, of course, is always the case. I ended up teaching for about 25 minutes and found that the Lord was quick to provide what needed to be said at just the right time. It was an amazing experience to ask the kids questions and then realize not only did I know the answer to the question but more importantly I knew a verse and its reference that the answer was based upon. I could show them exactly how we know that "Jesus Rocks!!"(1 Peter 2) "The Bible Rocks" (2 Timothy 3:16) and we as God's children are meant to Rock (Ephesians 2:10).

I was truly blown away at the things that were coming from my mouth and knew that God alone could be the reason for the sharpness of mind. But I was also convicted because I know that I don't live like Jesus and the Bible Rocks every time I have that opportunity. Therefore I am a hypocrite. Look it up. You'll find that it means someone who says one thing and then lives quite differently when all is boiled down. However there is hope for this hypocrite because like an addict the first step to recovery is admitting there is a problem. God is good and gracious in all things and He will prove Himself as such time and time again. But as time goes on I pray that my being a hypocrite will be less and less proven.

Family Ties

My Mom

Her Children

Her Grandchilren

The Sleep Came Softly Then

When I was somewhere within the ages of six and eight we lived an hour or so away from my grandparents’ home and often on the way there I would fall asleep to avoid car-sickness. On this particular trip I had done just that. I'm not sure what landmark we had just passed or just how long I had been green with unease before falling asleep, but it happened in the usual way. Sleeping in the car as a child is much different than the light dozing of an adult and I soon found myself in a bit of wonderland. Shapes were unclear and lights were blurred but much of the other world was very clear and yet vague at the same time.

In this place of imagination I was in a dimly lit room with rows of chairs and people dawning the traditional black of mourning when I realized that everyone was turned around looking at me and my brother as we were standing at the back of the room. My brother led the way down the very long center isle where at the very front was positioned a large black box which I knew held the body of someone who was no longer a part of even this very unreal reality. My brother lingered at the casket for a short time and then made his way to a row of empty chairs at the side of the room.

I felt an urge to approach the big black box myself but was hindered by deep senses of both grief and emptiness. Upon finally reaching the object which I dreaded the most at that moment I saw the loving face which had greeted my own into the world I knew as true reality. It was the face I kissed at night before approaching this shadow of life, this wonderland that I now stood weeping in. Yet, as the tears rolled down my round cheeks I stood as an adult within my six or seven-year-old frame. Had those tears not fallen in that wonderland none of the faceless onlookers would have known that a bit of grief existed in the child who had just been robbed of the only stable adult in her life.

As my body awoke and therefore slowly brought my shadow with it from this land of loss, I found myself alone in the back seat. My face was resting in a pool of tears and my lungs gasped for air while my lumped throat would only let short breaths in through the repeated sobbings. I sat there a few moments in the mess created by the imaginary parting from my beloved mother and as the crying subsided I thought I had found myself in yet another dimension of dreamland.

Lying helplessly in the seat I saw her face once again. I thought that she had returned from whatever I thought lay beyond the physical once again only to walk past the window. As the tears again began to flow, the door opened and the real and touchable arms that I had found comfort in so many times before cradled my trembling body. The lips which had touched my face so tenderly in the past were again placed upon my forehead. And as my mother spoke softly into my ears I once again found comfort. The strong pain passed but I did not let my mother out of my sight on that visit to grandma's. I never wanted to have those feelings again and was determined not to leave her side.

Back From Holiday (Island)

There is a small "resort" here in the ozarks called "Holiday Island". It is a small trek from the growing area of North West Arkansas, however, not too far for a much needed day trip.

"What did I need with a little get away when I board a plane for California in less than 48 hours?"

Well, this trip was not for me, rather for my beloved family. Although many of us can go weeks and even months without a call or even the slightest thought of what the others are doing, when one our us leaves for such a distant journey it is imparative that everyone else see their face and perhaps get a hug before they depart. Therefore, it was a much needed holiday.

However this post is not about the destination persay but rather the trip there. In the past I owned Bebo Norman's album "Ten Thousand Days" on cassette and over time it has been destroyed by use. Recently, however, I have purchased it on CD. During the hour long excersion to a campsite where part of my extended family were enjoying the brisk coolness of the morning air I was listening to Mr. Norman's first majorly released work. As the songs played in the order which I am accustomed to hearing them, numbers 1&2 came and left with my singing along merrily, however the masterfully penned words of number 3 presented a challenge to my heart.

The Hammer Holds

A shapeless piece of steel,

That's all I claim to be
This hammer pounds to give me form,

This flame, it melts my dreams
I glow with fire and fury,

As I'm twisted like a vine
My final shape, my final form

I'm sure I'm bound to find

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

And the water, it cools me gray,

And the hurt's subdued somehow
I have my shape, this sharpened point,

What is my purpose now?
And the question still remains,

What am I to be?
Perhaps some perfect piece of art

Displayed for all to see

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

The hammer pounds again,

But flames I do not feel
This force that drives me, helplessly,

Through flesh, and wood reveals
A burn that burns much deeper,

It's more than I can stand
The reason for my life was to take the life

Of a guiltless man

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the pain
And hurt a little, hurt for me, my future is so bold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

This task before me may seem unclear
But it, my Maker holds

Bebo Norman

copyright 1999

As I was listening to these words that I have heard countless times and know well enough to sing along without mistake, I was challenged as to my purpose. The Westminister Confession says that "the cheif end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever." It has also been said that "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him."

Although more often than not, I am dis-satisfied with what the Lord has given me. Even when I am mostly content, it frustrates me that my flesh tries to push it's way into the picture. As I was listening to this song I found myself saying, "I am not living in the glorious grace offered by God, because I'm the one trying to live my life. Therefore as I drove down a curvy road with tears of disgust in my eyes, I prayed that the Lord would have me truely live, to live in Him. Even though the tasks before me may be unclear they are in the hand of an almighty and most perfect God who does all things well.

__________________________

As I finish up this post, here on the west coast of the U. S. I pray even more that it would be so. The Lord has been gracious to me and I am overwhelmed at the works of His hands in this day alone and greatly anticipate seeing His work in the coming month. My departure this morning was smooth, apart form the tears shed and the provisions were awesome and therefore I am praising God for a safe arrival.

I intend to post a bit more about my flight in the coming days.

Love Him,

N. L. White

Television Time = Family Time?

I just wanted to start by pointing out that I dearly love my brother and am grateful for our years together, even those that we've spent in front of the TV. (I haven't added up the hours but I'm sure it's too many to do so.)

I have a beloved friend (yes another) who can be no closer to be than a brother, for he is just that, my brother. At four years my elder he spent a few years trying to figure out just why he was instructed to put up with a little sister and share his cars, but in the past ten or so we've become very good friends. I respect him and his wife and have enjoyed the blessings of loving them as my brother and sister in Christ. I am blessed by their children and the time I am afforded with them all. (As a child care professional I most enjoy the time I get to just be an aunt slaying dragons in the park.)

My brother and I were TV kids. Many times the tele was our sitter as well as our entertainment. I have for the past few months owned a very large Television (not the screen, just the caseing) with no power chord. This makes watching the weather rather problematic. Perhaps if I had spent more time reading as a child instead of in front of the tele I could deal with a small apartment and no TV more aptly. But as it is, I am learning how to cope one sudoku at a time.

A small light does exist however. My brother...has a television (though it is a bit small) with a satillite connection...and the most convienent invention of this decade...

...TiVo.

In the fall and winter months we gather, just the three of us, and indulge in an hour or two of complete wastefulness of time. After the kids are put to bed we sacrifice a bit of sleep in order to follow the caotic lives of our favorite fictional characters and see the latest events that will change the lives of our chosen reality stars and decide who goes home this week.

I have come to know my sister-in-law much better during these past two seasons. I know now that she has a great capacity for great compassion. I have known that this is one of her gifts for years but there haven't been people in our church threatened by another civilization a mere two day hike away lately. She many times feels the stress and anxiety of a fictional character in her very body and is "plum tuckered out" by the end of our adventure on a semi-deserted island. My brother however has displayed a calmness that shows his ability to step back from a situation and form thoughts and opinions based on facts presented rather than being sucked into an alternate reality.

You may be asking "And what of yourself?". Well, I think that perhaps you'ld have to ask one of the other two parties for character revelations. But I do know that I enjoy the opportunity to take a break from trying to figure out how to get the concept of "freedom" across to preschoolers and formating informational flyers for youth to shove into their Bibles and forget to pass along to their parents. (without spending $7.50 at the local theater)

Sure, I could get online and find a power chord for my 1990 television that is currently serving only as a shelf in my little apartment, but I think I would still have to make that weekly drive. I enjoy the company too much.

Until next time kids...

(If you would like to offer any spiritual significance what so ever to this post, please feel free to make a comment.)