The Zombie and the Swordsman

I gave my youngest charge (I'm a nanny for two lovely boys) a bowl filled with both grapes and raisins this morning. (A little imbalanced perhaps but he enjoyed it and I'll try to provide things to get him back on track as the day progresses.) As I looked at the bowl of fruit I was taken by the mixture of the old and new.

The raisins all dried, wrinkled and gummy in texture and the grapes in all their juicy-ness with their smooth skin that gives a slight pop when you bite it and their slightly grainy middles that give freely between the top and bottom incisors. (Can you tell which I prefer?) The display of my discription talents, however is not the point of this post. (Even though you are now taking a moment to deeply swallow the drool I've induced or to wipe it away with the sleeve of your shirt. That's gross...don't do that!)

I was taken by the picture of the two foods together because it is very often what the inside of my heart looks like. The old and new trying to coexist in the most peaceable of circumstances. The old self hanging out, putting it's two cents in wherever it thinks the new might not notice while the former tries to suppress the other with it's knowledge and wisdom. But this is not the reality of it. These two are constantly at war within me.

The pale zombie that I've termed "the old" walking around trying with insatiable desire to pierce flesh and chew away at "the new" with it's double rows of pointed teeth. (Don't leave. I promise I'll tone down the horror text.) It seems a little bit crazy and very disturbing for me to describe it like that, I know. But how else would you discribe that which is meant to be dead trying to take over where the living are seeking to thrive? Thank God that His sword is able to chop off that bald decaying head. (That's the last of the horror. I promise. I think I watched too many of these kinds of movies growing up.)

It was also intiguing to me that my young friend (the little boy I mentioned at the beginning...you shouldn't lose focus so quickly ;} ) chose to eat the wrinkly old raisins with more fervor than the juicy, delectable and de-li-ght-ful grapes. This however is also a picture of my heart because I am prone to wander, as it were, back to the former way of life and therefore forsake the only good within me. The Spirit of the Living God is left at the bottom of the bowl much too often when I walk away from the table.

I have made the effort and taken the time to dig out, admire and ravenously eat of the old self. Thinking that it's pleasures must be better as that is it's empty promise. All pleasure is lost however when the texture is realized in my mouth. I can see that all the satisfying elements have been sucked out and the remains have induced the impulse to spit the dried flesh out, perhaps even vomit and then cleanse my palett with the only thing that can rid me of it's effects. Grace alone through Faith alone in Christ alone.

My only hope and comfort in this is that my Saviour lives and has been glorified. He is the first fruits and the picture of God's reservation for those who confess with their mouth and believe in their heart that the Christ, Jesus Himself, has risen from the dead. I'm still working on all the details but it is my desire that this describe every aspect of my life. Even the mixed bowl of fruit (and yes, nuts) that I call my heart.

Good Day to All

- NL White

Some verses to ponder:

James 1:13-18

13 Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.

16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. In the exercise of His will He brought us forth by the word of truth, so that we would be a kind of first fruits among His creatures.

1 Peter 2:1-12

1 Therefore, putting aside all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander, like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, if indeed you have tasted the kindness of the Lord.

4 And coming to Him as to a living stone which has been rejected by men, but is choice and precious in the sight of God, you also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. For this is contained in Scripture: "BEHOLD, I LAY IN ZION A CHOICE STONE, A PRECIOUS CORNER stone, AND HE WHO BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED."

7 This precious value, then, is for you who believe; but for those who disbelieve, "THE STONE WHICH THE BUILDERS REJECTED, THIS BECAME THE VERY CORNER stone," and, "A STONE OF STUMBLING AND A ROCK OF OFFENSE"; for they stumble because they are disobedient to the word, and to this doom they were also appointed.

9 But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE FOR God's OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were NOT A PEOPLE, but now you are THE PEOPLE OF GOD; you had NOT RECEIVED MERCY, but now you have RECEIVED MERCY.

11 Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul. Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation.