Coming Along

Okay so I'm working on this story which as of yet is titled "Over A Cup Of Tea." I have been pretty consistent at writing a page or so at a time and haven't experienced major writer's block. However, I do have a dilemma which I didn't really expect. I continue to ask the question "How much of myself do I reveal?"

I am, as many can see from my writings here, a Christian and for me that means that I strive to put Christ first in every situation. I am therefore torn in the happenings with the characters of my composition. I am, also admitted in my writings here, a hypocrite. This means that I am also torn with the happenings and how much of my sinful conscience to reveal.

In short this SHORT story is quite a challenge.

If you have an opinion let me know.
(This is the interaction piece of the presentation.)

Speechless

I don't have anything special to post today...so...I thought I'd quote someone else. I recently read this on someone elses blog and thought of myself as I do too often. Thanks Aurora for putting this so aptly.

"It’s not that I never wanted to be feminine. Okay yes it is. But something is happening. My resistance is wearing down. Maybe it has something to do with getting hips for the FIRST TIME EVER at the age of 25. Maybe it’s a hormonal surge that happens just before 30. A hormonal surge that comes with some kind of tractor beam locked on to girly hair, mascara and great accessories. "

Pet Peeve #1

You know there's this thing that really bugs me, I mean really bugs me. It's those sporty little shorts and joggers that have words printed across the rear. It's as if young girls, and even younger girls are saying hey take a long look at my booty. How decent is that? Well, it's not.

Confession #1: I have a pair of shorts with a design on the rear. I was unaware of this when purchasing them and have since only used them as sleepwear. However, I can't even bring myself to walk around my little apartment with the design exposed so I've taken to wearing them inside out.

Confession #2: I am wearing them today...still inside out & under some jeans that have seemed to grow over the last few months. I'm wearing them and guess what...I'm still a little cold when I go outside. It's like winter just exploded here in Arkansas and it's not trying to be polite about it either.

So the point is...I'm cold.

The Daily Grind

Okay, so what am I doing today?

#1 Dealing with the effects of yesterday's grape and raisin breakfast combo.

#2 Tickling a very cute 18 month old into submission and tiredness for his noon-ish snooze.

#3 Making Italian Stuffed Meatloaf during said snooze. (kudos to the Food Network - now I too can cook like my lovely and most dear friend on earth)
The Mom of the family I work for is out of the country so I thought I'd put something together for Daddy and one of the boys. (the other's a pretty picky eater, more on that another day.)

#4 Starting a SHORT story.
Now some of you know that I've been working on a "story." Well, that story is quickly becoming a novela. I don't know...maybe I'm afraid of commitment...but I've set it aside for the time being. I want to prove to myself that I am capable of writing a SHORT story. You know, one that you could read before bed...over...say...two nights instead of three weeks. So that is the big project challenge for this week and maybe next. I'll keep you posted. (ha...ha...get it? "posted")

#5 Blogging
This little exercise has proven a bit difficult as the connection here at work is a little stingy at times and therefore limits productivity in this area. I have made a slight commitment to post a little more often and as a result am very driven to finish this post.

#6 Preparing to be a Youth Leader this evening.
This one is quite tricky as well. It's not that I'm nervous or anything. I've been on the youth staff for something like nine years this coming January. It's just that I don't feel very in tune with God today and KNOW that I will mess up if I rely on myself for what needs to be provided to the kids tonight. I fall short and am pretty sure that they know it too but I don't want to disappoint. So today I'm relying on the faithfulness of God. Faithfulness to me and faithfulness to those kids. I am going take a few moments to read the Scripture that will be taught tonight and pray for strength to strive to be reliable and ready for whatever those teens throw my way and pray that He meets their needs regardless of my "self" and my flesh.

#6 Going to Bed
This will not come too soon as I rose early this morning, yes before the sun, and have a full day ahead of me. I also have to rise before the sun tomorrow. (So, I'd better go finish that meatloaf.)

Happy Day!
- NL White ;>}

The Zombie and the Swordsman

I gave my youngest charge (I'm a nanny for two lovely boys) a bowl filled with both grapes and raisins this morning. (A little imbalanced perhaps but he enjoyed it and I'll try to provide things to get him back on track as the day progresses.) As I looked at the bowl of fruit I was taken by the mixture of the old and new.

The raisins all dried, wrinkled and gummy in texture and the grapes in all their juicy-ness with their smooth skin that gives a slight pop when you bite it and their slightly grainy middles that give freely between the top and bottom incisors. (Can you tell which I prefer?) The display of my discription talents, however is not the point of this post. (Even though you are now taking a moment to deeply swallow the drool I've induced or to wipe it away with the sleeve of your shirt. That's gross...don't do that!)

I was taken by the picture of the two foods together because it is very often what the inside of my heart looks like. The old and new trying to coexist in the most peaceable of circumstances. The old self hanging out, putting it's two cents in wherever it thinks the new might not notice while the former tries to suppress the other with it's knowledge and wisdom. But this is not the reality of it. These two are constantly at war within me.

The pale zombie that I've termed "the old" walking around trying with insatiable desire to pierce flesh and chew away at "the new" with it's double rows of pointed teeth. (Don't leave. I promise I'll tone down the horror text.) It seems a little bit crazy and very disturbing for me to describe it like that, I know. But how else would you discribe that which is meant to be dead trying to take over where the living are seeking to thrive? Thank God that His sword is able to chop off that bald decaying head. (That's the last of the horror. I promise. I think I watched too many of these kinds of movies growing up.)

It was also intiguing to me that my young friend (the little boy I mentioned at the beginning...you shouldn't lose focus so quickly ;} ) chose to eat the wrinkly old raisins with more fervor than the juicy, delectable and de-li-ght-ful grapes. This however is also a picture of my heart because I am prone to wander, as it were, back to the former way of life and therefore forsake the only good within me. The Spirit of the Living God is left at the bottom of the bowl much too often when I walk away from the table.

I have made the effort and taken the time to dig out, admire and ravenously eat of the old self. Thinking that it's pleasures must be better as that is it's empty promise. All pleasure is lost however when the texture is realized in my mouth. I can see that all the satisfying elements have been sucked out and the remains have induced the impulse to spit the dried flesh out, perhaps even vomit and then cleanse my palett with the only thing that can rid me of it's effects. Grace alone through Faith alone in Christ alone.

My only hope and comfort in this is that my Saviour lives and has been glorified. He is the first fruits and the picture of God's reservation for those who confess with their mouth and believe in their heart that the Christ, Jesus Himself, has risen from the dead. I'm still working on all the details but it is my desire that this describe every aspect of my life. Even the mixed bowl of fruit (and yes, nuts) that I call my heart.

Good Day to All

- NL White

Some verses to ponder:

James 1:13-18

13 Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.

16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. In the exercise of His will He brought us forth by the word of truth, so that we would be a kind of first fruits among His creatures.

1 Peter 2:1-12

1 Therefore, putting aside all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander, like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, if indeed you have tasted the kindness of the Lord.

4 And coming to Him as to a living stone which has been rejected by men, but is choice and precious in the sight of God, you also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. For this is contained in Scripture: "BEHOLD, I LAY IN ZION A CHOICE STONE, A PRECIOUS CORNER stone, AND HE WHO BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED."

7 This precious value, then, is for you who believe; but for those who disbelieve, "THE STONE WHICH THE BUILDERS REJECTED, THIS BECAME THE VERY CORNER stone," and, "A STONE OF STUMBLING AND A ROCK OF OFFENSE"; for they stumble because they are disobedient to the word, and to this doom they were also appointed.

9 But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE FOR God's OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were NOT A PEOPLE, but now you are THE PEOPLE OF GOD; you had NOT RECEIVED MERCY, but now you have RECEIVED MERCY.

11 Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul. Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation.

Comparitive Morality

Of Which I Am Guilty

I came into the book and media store rather late on Saturday night. I had ordered a movie, "Vera Drake," about a London abortionist during the 1950s. I heard that it was one of Imelda Staunton's best performances on film. I loved her portrail of Dolores Umbridge in "Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheniox" and she is well accomplished as an actress in Britain both on the stage and the set. In this production she plays a "good woman" with "a heart of gold" trying to "help out young girls what find themselves in the family way". The movie was well done as far as these US eyes can see and the performances outstanding.

There is however the issue of abortion or in this case aided miscarriages. Romans 1 talks about the world making its own standards apart from God in order to build its more attainable measure of morality. It is evident in this movie. When being questioned by the police about the use of particular tools that are more recognised as that of an abortionist, Mrs. Drake replied "Oh, I'd never do that." And although there were those opposed to the aided miscarrages, they didn't have any good reasons. Simply that "It's wrong ain't it?"

Praise God for even the limited conscience. For this world which we visit on our way to glory would be much more difficult to bare. Perhaps that's what we need? The Lord is faithful to provide all that we need. It seems that this might be the very thing to wake the sleepers who call themselves the church. Let us step away from what the world expects start comparing ourselves to God's standards.

Perhaps in the future I will post on the issue of my watching these movies in the first place but until then consider these verses.

Romans 1:18-25

18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

22 Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures. Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them. For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.

Luke 17:26-30

"And just as it happened in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of Man: they were eating, they were drinking, they were marrying, they were being given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all. It was the same as happened in the days of Lot: they were eating, they were drinking, they were buying, they were selling, they were planting, they were building; but on the day that Lot went out from Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven and destroyed them all. It will be just the same on the day that the Son of Man is revealed. "

Ephesians 5:1-16
1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them; for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.

11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret. But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light. For this reason it says,

"Awake, O sleeper,

And arise from the dead,

And Christ will shine on you."

Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil.

Still a Mystery

This past couple of weeks I have been exposed to the "Knights of Columbus" title a few times and from a couple of different sources. One being an acquaintance considering becoming a part of the group and the other a Brother in Christ concerned for his brother entering into such a secret society. I must admit that I know little to nothing about this Catholic brotherhood founded by Father Michael J. McGivney and that my knowledge of them is limited because I haven't taken the time to research the group. However if my trusted and diligent friend is having trouble obtaining information about the group there must be something hidden from the public eye. It could very well be that this "do good" fraternity of Catholic men has nothing serious to hide and just likes being a mystery to others. Or it could be that they have plans to take over the world by the year 2027. I truly don't know.

My friend did, however, make an excellent point concerning secret societies under the name of church and Christianity. He said those things done in God's name while under a shroud of secrecy has to be questioned. (or something similar) I have to admit that I agree. We have been sent out as believers to tell of God's works and wonders, therefore, how can those doing His work justify having a group that you must be a part of in order to learn the inter-workings of it?

I too find the mystery a bit intriguing however not enough to run the search engine in pursuit of the answers. So I'll leave that to the ones who have a vested interest in it and pray for those convicted by their conscience to do what is right in God's sight.